The Heart Comes Home

Great article on a woman being tossed out of a court of all places... Click here.

I have been struggling lately.  My friends certainly don't understand and sometimes my own family members seem to be frustrated with me when I have to time my trips out in public with my baby depending on the last time she was fed. I am not a strong woman when it comes to this.... and that's okay.  I could not stand the humiliation of being told to leave a place. I have at times gone into a bathroom stall to feed my daughter so as not to upset anyone else... Question?  Would you want to eat in a dirty public bathroom stall?

Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I have ever done, you do not have a life, its not just about the milk issue (how many times have I heard, "just leave a bottle with your husband").  I am her security blanket, her comfort when she needs it, her pacifier.  This is how she goes to sleep at night when she is upset or in pain, she doesn't have a binky, I am her binky.  Right now she is constantly going through physical growing changes, teething and mental development leaps.  When she is crying tears of pain from teething, the only comfort for her is to latch for a few minutes.  Not drink, but just latch.  This is part of breastfeeding, its what I committed too when I decided to have her.  But to be honest, it's extremely lonely.

She has herself on a wonderful schedule of going to bed at 7pm and getting up around 7am.  And she NEEDS to be in bed at 7pm.  No matter how much I want to socialize in the evenings (and believe me, I miss my girlfriends TERRIBLY) I can't justify messing up her schedule and having her be miserable.  I have a super amazing good baby.  Why would I want to take that away from her for my own selfish desires?

In the grand scheme of things, its a blip on the calendar.  Things will be more "normal" soon. And I hope my friends will forgive me...