I was thinking at 3:30 this morning while I was up playing
with Jessy in the living room…
I’ve read/been given all kinds of parenting advice on how to
deal with sleeping and an infant. “Let her cry, its fine”. Well this weekend she was running a fever,
congested very badly and in the process of cutting her two top teeth! Poor girl, she just wants someone to
understand her misery. So I sat in a
chair and held her… all night, every night.
And here it was at 3am Monday morning and we were happily playing with her
toys. Snot was thick and plentiful and a
little green. I had been sick earlier in the week and I know just how awful she
feels… then to be in pain from those darn teeth on top of it! Any distractions was a welcome one until the
pain medicine kicked in.
Of course I immediately “Googled” to see if what I was doing
was absolutely wrong… it was, without a doubt.
I didn’t care. She was smiling
and giggling, excitedly playing with her balls and toy house. We had to look everywhere for the doggie that
goes inside the house. (Had I not gotten up with her for this experience I
would not have known that her mind is learning so quickly… that she was
actually looking for the dog that goes in her toy house. She’s learning what
objects go together!)
Many times this past weekend I would think… “If I was in her
shoes, what would I want?” and then I did it.
I didn’t complain about the lack of sleep, or stress myself out about
having to go to work at 6am when I’d been up playing games in the wee hours. I didn’t worry that I was doing everything
wrong according to the Sleep Baby Experts… We had fun, we bonded, we cuddled. I put
her back to bed and she went right to sleep while I made myself a large cup of
coffee and went to work. Yeah, I’m more
exhausted then other moms. I’ve heard
how I bring it on myself. I’ve finally
got to the point that I’m okay with that.
Some people have children to fulfill their lives. I had a child to fulfill HER life. To be there, to comfort her, to love her
unconditionally. And in the process she
fills my life to overflow.
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