Monday, February 24, 2014

Baby Sleep

I was thinking at 3:30 this morning while I was up playing with Jessy in the living room…

I’ve read/been given all kinds of parenting advice on how to deal with sleeping and an infant. “Let her cry, its fine”.  Well this weekend she was running a fever, congested very badly and in the process of cutting her two top teeth!  Poor girl, she just wants someone to understand her misery.  So I sat in a chair and held her… all night, every night.  And here it was at 3am Monday morning and we were happily playing with her toys.  Snot was thick and plentiful and a little green. I had been sick earlier in the week and I know just how awful she feels… then to be in pain from those darn teeth on top of it!  Any distractions was a welcome one until the pain medicine kicked in. 

Of course I immediately “Googled” to see if what I was doing was absolutely wrong… it was, without a doubt.  I didn’t care.  She was smiling and giggling, excitedly playing with her balls and toy house.  We had to look everywhere for the doggie that goes inside the house. (Had I not gotten up with her for this experience I would not have known that her mind is learning so quickly… that she was actually looking for the dog that goes in her toy house. She’s learning what objects go together!)

Many times this past weekend I would think… “If I was in her shoes, what would I want?” and then I did it.  I didn’t complain about the lack of sleep, or stress myself out about having to go to work at 6am when I’d been up playing games in the wee hours.  I didn’t worry that I was doing everything wrong according to the Sleep Baby Experts… We had fun, we bonded, we cuddled.   I put her back to bed and she went right to sleep while I made myself a large cup of coffee and went to work.  Yeah, I’m more exhausted then other moms.  I’ve heard how I bring it on myself.  I’ve finally got to the point that I’m okay with that.

Some people have children to fulfill their lives.  I had a child to fulfill HER life.  To be there, to comfort her, to love her unconditionally.  And in the process she fills my life to overflow.  

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