Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Mother's Love - Truth Tuesday

I'm getting back into blogging as you can see from an 8 month reprieve.  My husband told me to write an honest post... completely baring my soul honest.  So here it goes. Social media sets us up to think that all of these mother's are perfect with their hair and nails done and their outfits perfect.  I rarely get more than 2 showers a week and have food and spit up on my sweats with my hair in a bun most days.  Attractive?  Absolutely not.  But having a 2 year old and a baby on your hip while being a stay at home mom isn't perfect... in fact its the hardest thing I've ever done.  Often I think about going back to work to get a break besides the 2 hours I get a week to go grocery shopping.  I was happier then honestly.  To get away all day and have your thoughts, to be able to run an errand on your lunch break EVERY DAY.  I think I was a better mom then.  At least mentally I felt better. But is it the best for my kids?  I don't really know.  I know that my daughter went from hardly speaking a year ago to we can't shut her up.  Her vocabulary is incredible using words no 4 year old uses little alone a 2 year old.  And she uses these words in the correct context.  We had a nanny for her when I was working but we found out that nothing compares to having a parent around.  One that teaches you every day about all kinds of things.  I tell myself every day, this is worth it.

The cost... to be honest, its only by the grace of God that our marriage has survived 2 kids in 3 years of marriage.  Its hard. Yes you are normal if you think this is hard. I can become a person that I'm not very proud of at times.  Sleep deprivation is the most awful thing on the planet. Being isolated for months on end is just as bad.  Are you having a tough time?  Its okay... it WILL get better.  You see in reality you don't choose the person to marry that makes your heart swoon and you get butterflies... those feeling WILL pass with time.  Life is full of struggle.  You choose the person you want to be with during the struggle.  THAT is how you make it. Through alot of prayer, I ended up with that miracle.  Is it easy?  Heck no.  Do we sleep in separate rooms at times?  Absolutely.  Do we love each other without fail?  Completely.  He will tell you the same thing.

If you are struggling being a stay at home mom, connect with me.  I'm always around.  You are an incredible person.  You are enough.  We all have bad days, we get frustrated, maybe say the things we shouldn't, maybe not give the attention we should. Some days I hate myself and every night I pray to be a better wife and mother.  But the nice thing about being at home... is you always have tomorrow to start over.  Forgive yourself and constantly try harder.  Nobody is perfect. Behind all those well filtered photos is a mom that has a 3 year old having a tantrum completely naked in front of the UPS man... Trust me, it happens.

They are worth it.

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1 comment:

  1. I saw you post this earlier and meant to read it then, but, you know, toddlers. I'm too exhausted to put two thoughts together, but I wanted to say thanks for writing this, and yes to all of it!