Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I'm really having a hard time with the thought of going back to work and not seeing my girl all day long.  The ladies at the daycare would tell me that its okay to cry and you can call and check in with us to see how she is doing.  I thought "I'm confident, I don't cry, I will be fine."  HA!  Boy was I wrong.  No I'm crying ALOT.  I'm so sad I almost feel like I can't breathe at times.  I know it will pass and everything will be fine but I will sure miss that girl all day. 

Because I'm going back to work I'm thinking about pumping (which is a stress all to itself).  Figuring out how many bottles with what ounces is a little maddening.  I want to preserve my breastfeeding relationship so I will only be sending 1 ounce per hour I'm away so she'll get most of the milk from me.  Yes that may mean I will be up a lot during nights and do most of her feedings then...

I'm learning how hard breastfeeding is, how many things can go wrong (I've almost gone through every one of them), how painful, and how incredibly giving you must be to do it for a long period of time.  I always said my goal was one year. I've questioned that decision many times.  But I am so determined to make it work. 

I've decided that when it comes time to introduce her to foods (after 6 months of age), I'm going to go with Baby Led Feeding.  Which means if she wants something I'm eating, she gets a bite.  No mashes or purees just real healthy foods.  After all its really just for fun before the age of 1.  Learning tastes and textures, smells and colors. It will be fun to see her face! 

In the mean time I'm pretty sure she is being well fed!

1 comment:

  1. I didn't even know there was a term for that! Baby Led Feeding. Interesting.

    I did that with my girls and I truly believe that's why they are the good eaters they are today. I don't cut off crusts or eliminate foods from a certain meal because they don't like it.

    Each girl has one or two things they don't like it (don't we all) but for the most part eat everything they've ever been introduced to

    I'm proud of you for sticking out the breastfeeding. I never had the challenge of having to go back to work and continue nursing. You can do this! BUT. If it becomes too much, if your quality of life diminishes because you're putting too much pressure on yourself to nurse her, stop it. Don't do that to yourself.

    Don't succumb to Mommy Guilt.

    You are loved, friend! And you are doing such a great job!